Monday, September 10, 2012

Partners in Crime

It's official.  I have accepted Jenna into our home as a part of our family.  I know she has been with us for almost six months, but I have a new reason to like her.  She is now my partner in crime! 

To fully understand our new partnership, you need to have some background information.  I have always loved eating paper.  If my parents had human children and those children ever told their teachers their dog ate their homework, it would be TRUE!  I have snatched up napkins, paper towels, and toilet paper.  I have even nibbled on Mommy's students' papers.  Once Mommy come home to find toilet paper stretched from one end of the house to the other, but that was years ago when we lived in Minnesota.  My all-time favorite paper snack is facial tissue.  The snottier, the better!  I know that sounds gross, but it's true.  My great-grandmother used to say I must have some sort of vitamin deficiency since I am always racing to grab tissues when I hear noses blowing. 

My paper eating habit has fluctuated over the past few years.  In general, the older I became, the less paper I ate.  Mommy also made more of an effort to control my paper eating tendencies a couple years ago when my cousin Harley became impacted after eating an entire roll of toilet paper.  Thankfully, that hasn't happened to me . . . yet!  Once Dixie came onto the scene, I resumed my paper eating habit a tiny bit.  Paper has become even tastier and more important since Jenna's arrival.  You might think I am compensating for a lack of attention paid to me.  I don't think so.  I just know how much puppies like paper, and I don't want to be left out!

There is one more tiny detail you need to know in order to understand how Jenna finally became accepted into the family.  I am ashamed to admit that I have trouble forcing myself to walk across floors that aren't carpeted.  I don't like tile, linoleum, or hard wood flooring.  I will cross the great divide if I must, but I rarely find a sufficient reason to make the move.  Even the promise of food rarely inspires me to take such a risk.  This fear of mine presents a problem when it comes to toilet paper as none of our bathrooms are carpeted.  This blemish on my otherwise perfect record is why I have enlisted Jenna's help. 

Jenna has become my tag team partner in the battle of the toilet paper!  I allow Jenna to make her way into the master bathroom and attempt to pull the toilet paper straight from the roll hanging on the wall.  She has a hard time pulling it that far because of its location in the bathroom, but she does her best.  The pieces she brings into the bedroom are for us to share.  Jenna doesn't seem to eat as much paper as I do.  I think she is much more into the adventure than the outcome.  Although she normally eats anything coming or going past her mouth, she seems to like playing with the paper more than eating it.

For now, my partner and I will settle for toilet paper.  Perhaps one day soon we'll make our move on the fridge . . .


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