Sunday, April 7, 2013

Stuck on Me (or The Perils of Being Me!)

By now everyone knows I like food.  I just can't help it.  I like everything!  I love to follow Mommy into the laundry room where our food is kept and watch her every move as she dishes it up.  Until recently I would take off running from the laundry room to my crate as soon as I saw her scoop out the third helping.  I would fly past the place where Mommy sits Dixie's and Hunter's food and await my dish eagerly.  For some reason, Hunter has decided to make a lunge at me lately as I go flying by.  He doesn't make the trek across the kitchen floor to the laundry room (scaredy dawg), so he stands waiting for his food near his designated dinner spot.  He  must have decided in his feeble mind that I am going to take all of the food (I would if I could).  Instead of racing back to my crate, I have decided it is safest to follow Mommy.  So I "walk" back across the floor behind her legs.  I am actually spinning my wheels in place behind her because she moves so slowly (compared to me). 

To get back at Hunter for his attacks, I decided to hop out of my crate as soon as I finished my food and see what yummy-ness might still be lurking in his bowl.  If there's any left (and of course there is because he eats so slowly), I show him how a lunge is done!  Mommy has not been pleased with my revenge tactics, so she has started closing the door to my crate when I'm eating.  Not fair!  No one else has to eat in their crate!  Hmmpf!

My food obsession has also gotten me into some other jams recently.  I love to hang out near the dishwasher in case something good falls onto the dishwasher door.  This can become a sticky situation when Mommy puts a glass on the top rack and remnants fall onto my head.  She noticed I had quite the hairdo going on the side of my head from where all kinds of good things had dripped down on top of me!  Yummmmm!  Mommy tried to clean it off, but I preferred to save it as a snack for later.

Mommy had to make some minor repairs to the walls this week.  She brought out the tub of spackle and made a racket trying to pull the lid off.  Good things always come in loud packages, don't they?  Potato chips, candy, cheese . . . the thoughts of all that good stuff makes me drool.  Mommy tells me drooling is very unbecoming on a lady.  Have no fear, my parents don't feed me all of those foods; I am forced to sit back and watch them eat the good stuff.  But I digress.  Back to the spackle.

The spackle Mommy was using is the kind that goes on pink and then turns white when it's dry.  Do you know how yummy that pink color is?  Let me tell you.  The pink color was so delicious-looking I just couldn't help myself.  Most of the spots that needed repairs were up pretty high on the walls, but there were two that were at just the right height.  As soon as Mommy turned her back, I licked it right off the wall!  Yep!  Mommy was not pleased for two reasons.  First, she isn't that great at spackling and was not happy I had ruined her hard work.  Second, she worried that I might spackle my insides together.  Surely something that goes on walls to help hold them together can't be good for me, right?  All I know is that I didn't care about my health, it tasted good enough for me to lick two different spots, and this is where I am now:

[Sigh]  I think I am doomed to be at the mercy of my taste buds forever.  Pray I don't decide to gobble up something life threatening!  And, that Mommy can keep her eyes on me!
Salutations from the slammer,

PS: Happy birthday, Mimi!  Hope you're having a better day than I am!

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