Mommy's Little Helper

I'm such a good girl (at least 99.9999% of the time).  You already knew that from reading our blog didn't you?  I bet you didn't know that I like to help Mommy clean house!  More specifically, I clean the shower in the master bathroom.

The best time to clean the shower is right after someone has finished using the shower.  The leftover water helps with the scrubbing, so there's no need to waste more water during the process.  My rough tongue has special scrubbing abilities that removes the need to add harsh chemicals.

I have two human cousins who also like to clean.  At least that's what Mimi and Aunt C tell me.  My cousins appear to be smiling in the pictures I've seen.  They don't seem to be under any duress when the pictures were taken.  They clean windows, dust, and vacuum.  Perhaps we should join forces to start our own business?  However they need to know upfront that I don't do windows . . . except car windows.  I'm happy to help out with car windows!

Let me know if you need my services.  I'm dawg-gone cheap.

Shower Cleaner for Hire!
Dixie


PS: Happy 46th Anniversary to Grandma and Poppa!  Yeehaw!

PPS: If you haven't been to vote yet, don't forget to go out and choose your favorite NUT this year!!!

Where's the Broom?

For those of you old enough, do you remember Wendy's advertising slogan "Where's the Beef?"   We don't actually remember it ourselves, but Mommy has talked about it when teaching advertising techniques.  We feel like adjusting it a bit and going around the house asking, "Where's the Broom?"

Since we've lived in this new house, the broom has almost completely disappeared.  The Swiffer only makes a weekly appearance.  What's going on here?  In our previous house, the broom or Swiffer made almost daily visits to our kitchen.  Mommy had a love/hate relationship with those two devices.  She loved the results; she HATED how often they came calling on her.

Here's a reminder of what the previous kitchen floor looked like on moving day:

From far away, the floor looks pretty good.  It's blue and white, one of Mommy's favorite color combos.  But it's only from far away that this floor looked good.  If you were to see it on a daily basis, you would know why Mommy hated it!  She asked herself a million times while living in this house who in their right mind would put WHITE tile in the kitchen!  Daddy started asking who in their right mind would have two black labs in a kitchen with white tile, but that's another story.

One of the best things about the new house in Mommy's opinion is the tile in the kitchen.  I think Mommy's IN LOVE!  This tile has to be the best invention known to man or dawg.  It shows NOTHING!!!!!  Well, it might show a few tiny water spots from a certain unnamed dawg's drool, but only in the right light.

Every tiny little bitty dawg hair is able to hide out until it decides to form a tumbleweed.  That is the only time Mommy notices anything on the floor.  When she sees a tumbleweed that has formed, she simply reaches down and picks it up.  She does not go looking for the broom or the Swiffer.

The poor broom is basically only used and abused for outdoor chores now (and boy, do we have some serious dust and dirt out there!).  The Swiffer is only invited into the kitchen once a week when Mommy does her regularly scheduled cleaning.

I personally have the feeling the Swiffer should invite himself in at least twice a week, but Mommy is living by the philosophy of "Ignorance is bliss!"

Whatever makes Mommy happy,
Jenna


PS: Happy Birthday tomorrow to Grandaddy!  We hope you have a great day!

PPS: The broom did make an appearance Monday on Halloween . . . after all, Mommy has to get around somehow!

Happy Halloween!

Ahoy there, Matey!  We aaarrrrrr anxiously awaiting trick-aaarrrrr-treaters tonight so we can make them walk the plank.  It should be a treasure trove of fun for us.  Maybe if we scare 'em bad enough we can grab their loot!

We thought we'd entertain you with a few pirate jokes.  Mommy loves to speak pirate and has received high praise from some of her friends in the past for her pirate talk!  Jenna will go first.  Naturally hers aaarrrrr all food related!

What does a gourmet pirate add to his dish?  A gAAARRRRRRnish!

Where do pirates like to eat?  The HAAARRRRRD Rock Cafe

What is a pirate's favorite fast food restaurant?  ARRRRRR-by's!

Enough from Jenna.  She's growing a little weary of telling these jokes.  It's Dixie's turn now!

What kind of socks does a pirate wear?   ARRRRRRRRRGGyle

(must be a UNC fan)

What's a pirate's favorite subject in school?  ARRRRRRRRRRRT

Which Star Wars character is really a pirate?  ARRRRRRR2-D2

(that's for our niece and nephew on this Halloween)

We hope you have a PUN Halloween!

Jenna and Dixie

The New Camo

What do you know about camouflage?  Besides the fact that as a verb it means to blend in. I'm talking about camo the noun.  Camouflage has changed quite a bit over the years as technology has grown to enable the designers to better know what animals and birds can and cannot see.

We have a jacket in the closet that used to belong to Grandaddy.  Mommy has been known to wear it a few times in a pinch when she's afraid she'll get dirty doing something wild and crazy with Daddy.  Its camo pattern was originally known as what else, but Duck Hunter.  It's a bit outdated now . . .

Daddy has several types of camo in his hunting closet.  He has this pattern known as Advantage Classic Camo which is made by Realtree.  You can see how well it works.

realtree.com

He also has this pattern know as Advantage Max 4.  He has a LOT of this and it seems to work well for him in most waterfowl situations.  

realtree.com

I learned while researching the history of camouflage that the Realtree company now has Advantage Max 5.  Mommy is hoping and praying Daddy doesn't know anything about this new camo pattern.   It can't be that much better, can it???  It's apparently been around for a couple years already.  Perhaps we finally own enough camo to last the rest of Daddy's life??  Ssssshhhhhh . . . don't tell him!

realtree.com

Daddy even has this weird camo called a ghillie suit.  Mommy calls it Swamp Thing!  It's guaranteed to scare the fool out of anyone unsuspecting (especially on Halloween while hiding in the shrubs!)  Daddy's is a slightly darker color.

Why have I been going on and on about camouflage patterns?  First, it's hunting season, so the camo has been brought out of the closet quite a bit lately.  Also, I'm here to show you the newest and best camo pattern known to man or canine.  It's unlike anything you've ever seen and we don't have to go far to find it at our house.  

That's right, BLACK is the new camo!  It has absolutely amazing hiding properties.  My sister and I specialize in this beautiful pattern and have been successful in hiding out from unwanted tasks like bath time!

Feel free to contact us if you should find yourself in need of the new black camo pattern.

Jenna

Yard Help

I really miss our yard from the previous house.  It was beautiful.  I can't say the same for our yard here.  Mommy does a little bit of work in this yard, but she says we probably won't be here long enough to really worry about it that much.  You've already read that because our yard is so small, we like to go on nice, long walks with Mommy in the mornings.

One morning a couple months ago we had quite the excitement.  It just about scared us to death.  Our reaction to this sighting scared the fool out of Mommy too.  She generally tries to keep an eye out for anything that might come after us (like other dawgs) or that we might go after (like dead animals).  She wants to be prepared for our reactions in all situations, but this time she was not prepared!  She heard us freaking out and thought for sure something was about to grab us all.

Dixie was REALLY freaked out!  She barked and barked and raised her hackles from head to toe!

After my initial response, I went in for closer inspection.

I now know there's nothing to be afraid of.  This family of deer is not going to harm me, Dixie, Mommy, or anyone else.  We walk by quite often and totally ignore each other.  

The only thing that really concerns me now is the family that lives in this house.  I think they might need a little help (a psychiatrist perhaps).  I mean who in their right mind would drag these deer home and make them stand out in the front yard where everyone can see them???  I bet when everyone goes by pointing and laughing it makes them feel just awful.  It's so sad.  I think it's time to let the deer go on their merry way, don't you?

Hoping for the deerly departed,

Jenna

The Perfect Breakfast

What do you like to eat for breakfast?  As a dawg, I usually eat the same thing I eat for dinner and breakfast, and dinner and breakfast, and well you get the picture.  Mommy LOVES breakfast foods such as pancakes and french toast, but she rarely fixes them for herself.  She does eat breakfast, but it's usually something quick and easy.

Recently she remembered that the town we are now calling home has a KRISPY KREME!!!!  She knew it deep down in the back of her mind, but she was pretty sure they didn't have anything wheat free on their menu.  She decided to throw caution to the wind and head out early one weekend morning while the HOT NOW sign was on!  Not only would she have a quick and easy breakfast but it would be delicious as well!

The best part?  I got to go with her!  I'm not sure what made Mommy decided to take a dawg along for the ride, but if anyone was going to go, it couldn't be Jenna!  There's no way that girl could have kept her paws much less her jaws off the doughnuts long enough for them to make it home.

I took my job very seriously and kept an eye out for anyone who might be a potential threat to Mommy's breakfast happiness.

We made it home safely, made coffee, and started enjoying those perfectly glazed specimens of baked supremacy.

Jenna was a bit put out that she wasn't invited to go along, but after splitting a doughnut with me, she forgave us both.

YUMMY!  Seriously yummy!
Dixie

Cold Water

You've heard one of our favorite jokes haven't you?  If you don't remember the Cold Water joke, you can read it here.  We refer to the punch line of this joke quite often in our family and even more in this house that is new to us.

One of the things Mommy misses the most about our last house is the dishwasher.  She had a very nice Bosch dishwasher that worked so well it could take the etching off glass!  Okay, so maybe sometimes it worked too well, but there was never any need to pre-rinse the dishes in the sink before putting them in the dishwasher.  The dishwasher was also so quiet it put a red laser beam on the floor when it was running so you'd know it was on.  It was fancy-schmancy.

We can't quite say the same about the dishwasher in this house.  It has to be the cheapest dishwasher known to man or canine!  Mommy feels like she practically washes each dish by hand and THEN lets the dishwasher do its thing. On a slightly bright note, this dishwasher isn't as loud as the one in the apartment where Daddy lived temporarily until we joined him. That dishwasher could have woken the dead with all of its noises.  The dishwasher in this house isn't as quiet as the Bosch, but it won't keep us awake at night and we can still watch TV while it's running.  I guess one out of two wishes for a decent dishwasher isn't bad, right?  Mommy would speak up here and remind me that score would be a 50% which is failing in the academic world!

We are frequently called Cold Water around here because we like to help Mommy clean the plates before they go into the dishwasher.  She says it saves her a step and we probably do a better job than she does!

When it's time to help Mommy, she chooses who will go first and says each name individually.  We know the drill.  This is one task we don't try to fight each other on.  Mommy is very fair when assigning the plate cleaning chore (unlike another human who lives in this house and shall remain unnamed).  As she calls each name, we step up and let our tongues do the work.  That's Jenna above and me below.

See?  It really is as clean as Cold Water can get it!

We hope this doesn't gross you out too much.  If you're planning a visit to see us, feel free to bring your own paper plates.  We promise not to be offended!

Dixie "Cold Water" Doodle

Trip to the Vet: Bad Food

Going to the vet really isn't on my top ten list of things to do.  Especially when there is something seriously wrong with me.  About a month ago Mommy came home from work to find that I was REFUSING FOOD!!  What?!?!?!?!?!  That's unheard of!  You know I LOVE FOOD!!!!!!

It all started when we moved here.  Mommy had researched the area in advance to see where our usual food could be purchased and realized it wasn't looking good.  Our regular food cannot be purchased any where in this very large city!  WEIRD!!!  She could have ordered it from Amazon, but it's more expensive online even with free shipping and if you know my Mommy really well, you know she's a cheapo when it comes to shopping!

We brought extra bags of food with us, but of course they weren't bottomless and eventually we ran out!  That meant Mommy had to choose a new food for us.  She went with a premium brand of food shown on television all the time that is reputed to be VERY GOOD . . . (and yes, it's made in the US).  The first bag she bought was for large breeds and the pieces were HUGE!

Mommy noticed a week or two later that Dixie seemed to be having trouble with the new food and she and Daddy thought perhaps the pieces were too big for Dixie.  So Mommy bought another (smaller) bag of food by the same brand.  That seemed to help Dixie.  A few days later and I started showing some of the same tummy problems.  Mommy switched me to the same new food as Dixie.  That seemed to help me too.

Then a few days into the newest food and Mommy noticed I was throwing up my food.  She started me on a regimen of pumpkin and rice trying to settle my stomach.  After all, I eat all kinds of things on our morning walks (think bird poop!)  That seemed to help me, and Mommy thought I was finally ready to go back to my new food . . .

I threw up breakfast that day and refused to eat my dinner!  Mommy was shocked!  I have never refused to eat anything!  When she took me outside and I had serious bodily functions flying all over the yard (literally, flying), she knew there was a serious problem.  I also kept drinking lots and lots of water.  Mommy's heart stopped beating for a second or five when she realized how much I was drinking because Hunter drank and drank and drank the afternoon he became so sick.  Mommy called the vet and was told to bring me right over.  Daddy arrived home just then and could see the panic on Mommy's face.  He made the decision to go with us and Mommy was so grateful!  [sigh]

I was a good girl (as usual) in the waiting room.

We didn't have to wait long before we were taken into the examining room.  For some reason which neither Mommy nor I understood, Daddy refused to sit down.  The vet technician said they were going to run a quick fecal test and so perhaps Daddy thought the whole visit was going to be quick.  Bless his heart.  He has so little experience with vets!  It's never a quick trip!

 We waited . . . 

and waited . . . 

and waited . . . 

Finally the vet returned to tell us that I had a gastro-intestinal infection caused by that premium reputable FOOD!!!!!  They have seen numerous similar infections in other dogs who eat that same food.  I took home LOTS of medicine and returned to my limited diet of pumpkin and rice along with chicken or ground beef.  Several new foods were suggested and Mommy went out the next morning to make her choice.  She realized at breakfast that day that there was no way she could feed that horrible food to Dixie either and so we both started that bland diet.

I am doing much better on the new food and so is Dixie.  I'm so thankful Daddy went along to help keep both me and Mommy calm and entertained while we were at the vet (for an hour and a half).

I hope you never have to experience the side effects of bad food.
Jenna

Twin Lake

We told you this summer about the playa lakes around our house.  The first time Mommy allowed us off the leash to play we just romped around in the water.  The next time we went, Mommy wised up and took toys with us!  (She told us it was for our enjoyment; the truth is the toys helped her round us up when she was ready to leave!)

I got to play with my flying squirrel and of course, Dixie had her trusty tennis ball.

We had so much fun, we've decided to give our playa lake a name: Playa del Gemela . . . Lake of the Twins.  If you are better at Spanish than we are, we welcome a correction to our translation.  We promise not to be offended!

A certain sister of mine wanted to play with BOTH toys!  She finally gave up and watched me retrieve from the shore.

 Don't feel too sorry for her.  She got to carry BOTH toys all the way home!

Here's to more fun days in the lake!  I'm sure it will still be warm enough here for a while!
Jenna